Try to look unimportant...

I do not necessarily discount everything that comes from the government. I remember from my time in Southeast Asia that every once in a while, our tax dollars fund government studies of inestimable worth. For example, the folks in the Defense Dept. researched issues related to protecting our troops while at the same time, providing the enemy the maximum opportunity to give his life for his country. From one of those studies came the Claymore mine.

The Claymore mine is a device designed to spray an area with many, many steel ball bearings of approximately .32 caliber at a velocity approaching 19,000 feet per second. The device consists of a small sheet of C-4 plastic explosive, one side of which is covered with the steel balls. It is deployed with the ball side facing the enemy, and is detonated by means of an electrical charge transmitted to a blasting cap that is inserted into the C-4. The entire package is encased in a plastic cover that keeps everything intact until the moment of detonation.

The wonder of this device is not its destructive force (which is considerable). No, the wonder is the message that came with each Claymore, to alert its users to the danger it posed. I know, you're probably thinking of messages like, "Danger! High Exposive!" or the like. No, the warning is much more personal than that. On the back of the mine, in letters embossed upon the olive green plastic, were these words:

"Do not eat."

Sage advice, that. But I've never been quite comfortable with the notion of entrusting a Claymore mine to someone who could actually benefit from this advice.

I will admit, though, that not everything I learned from my government is completely worthless. The military, for instance, has distilled some very astute observations into easily remembered lessons. Among these are,

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Tracers work both ways.

If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.

And my personal favorite,

Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.